Marriage is tricky. Trust us on that one. Very tricky. It is going to be very different from when the two of you were merely engaged, or just simply dating. Not 100% sure why this is. Maybe it is down to the fact that the two of you are now committed to one another. It is tough to break off a marriage, after all (not that you would want to!). We decided to put together this guide to make your marriage a little bit easier for you.
It is all about compromise
This is one thing that people do not seem to realise when it comes to a successful marriage. It is absolutely all about compromise. You are going to argue. You are going to argue a lot throughout your marriage. This is healthy. If you are not arguing, one of you will have something bottled up, and one day it is going to just come shooting out. This will make it a far bigger deal than it is.
However, many people get the idea of arguing wrong. It is not the two of you shouting at one another for a long time and getting nowhere. It is about listening to each other. Hearing the point of view that the other person has. If you do not understand this, then you are going to lose a little bit of love for each other each time you argue. Probably not something that you want.
A successful marriage is all about compromise. Understand what the other person wants out of it. Know that they have just as much right to decide as you do. We have seen arguments start over everything from deciding the décor of a house, to deciding what to watch on TV. If one person is being a bit dominant in the arguments, and is always winning, that is not compromising.
If you want a healthy marriage, come to an agreement!
Spend Time Together
Once you are married, it can be very easy to just ‘stop dating’. Why would you need to date? You are now married. Surely that is the whole intention of dating in the first place? Oh, how wrong you are here.
Far too many times we have seen people enter a marriage and forget that they need to ‘date’ one another. If you are not spending enough time together, then this is going to cause all sorts of problems. It is not a fun experience!
We recommend that you spend a couple of hours together each week, at a scheduled time, where work is not going to get involved. You just head out, or even stay at home if you are struggling for funds, and enjoy each other’s company. It is a lovely experience.
Expect Less From Your Partner
Many marriages start to become unhappy around the point where you start to expect more from your partner than they are reasonably going to be able to give you. You do not want to get caught in that cycle. We recommend that you expect less from your partner. Then when they overdeliver, you are going to be pleasantly surprised!
This is actually a tip used by many marriage counselors out there, and it is something which really does seem to work.
Tell Your Partner You Love Them
We suppose that this ties into the ‘dating’ your partner section. When people become comfortable in a relationship, particularly a marriage, they seem to forget about all of the things that made it seem so wonderful before. Do not do that. Do not be afraid to tell your partner that you love them. Do not be afraid to tell them that they look fantastic today. It may not seem like a lot, but it is something that really does help make your marriage a little bit better.
Know your responsibilities in the marriage
If one of you works and the other does not, that is completely fine, providing this is something that you are able to afford, of course. However, it is important that both of you understand what your responsibilities are. Who is responsible for cleaning the house? Who is responsible for looking after the children most of the time? Who should be cooking? In an ideal world, you would have your responsibilities split evenly down the middle. One person should not be doing everything. This may be a bit different if one of you is out of work and has more time around the house to do things, but even then, the partner who works should make time to help a little bit. You both live in that house, so you want to make it look as great as possible!
If you do have any concerns about how much one person is helping, then do not be afraid to talk to them about it. Remember, as we said before, it is important that you do not keep things bottled up. This is when issues start!